TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO
THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS

Element Name: WOMANIUM
bulletSymbol: WO
bulletAtomic Weight: (don't even go there)
bulletPhysical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
bulletChemical properties:
      > Very active;
      > Highly unstable;
      > Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones;
      > Violent when left alone;
      > Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food,
         ...... in particular, carbonated fermented wine juice and rare fish eggs;
      > Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen;
bulletUsage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
bulletCaution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands

 
Element Name: MANIUM
bulletSymbol: XY
bulletAtomic Weight: 180 +/- 50
bulletPhysical properties:
      > Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily;
      > Fairly dense and sometimes flaky;
      > Difficult to find a pure sample;
      > Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
bulletChemical properties:
      > Attempts to bond with WO (WOMANIUM) any chance it gets.
      > Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
      > Becomes explosive when mixed with KD Element (CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time.
bulletNeutralize: By saturating with alcohol.
bulletUsage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
bulletCaution: In the absence of WO (WOMANIUM), this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
But who can understand men?
  1. The nice men are ugly.
  2. The handsome men are not nice.
  3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
  4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
  5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
  6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
  7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
  8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
  9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
  10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money (and thank God are heterosexual), are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
  11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW .... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

SEND THIS URL ( http://www.tallrite.com/LightRelief/[Wo]Manium.htm ) TO :

bulletSMART WOMEN (huh ?) WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO
bulletTHE (very few) GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT

Thanks to Eileen K, Zeynap Ersavci, Barry O'Neill and various others

For a hazard warning about Womanium, click here button1.jpg (1189 bytes)

For more about Manium, click here button1.jpg (1189 bytes)

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